Things can only get better

Do you have a dream? What is it?

For my whole life, I have been following other people’s dreams. I always did what I thought my parents wanted me to do. I have never been brave enough to admit what I really want to do in life. I have taken many paths only to discover they are not right for me down the road, and then I have to start over. And since I cannot change the past, I am going to change the future.

I have finally figured out what is right for me. I finally know where I want to go and what I want to do. I’m not sure how to get there but at least now I know where I am heading. Knowing is half the battle... I am ready to take on the other half.

Clarify your vision so you can grow into it. I finally have and now I will.

Do you feel scared - I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
--Howard Jones, Things Can Only Get Better

Wishing you the courage to follow your dreams,
Becky

Snap out of it

"Sorrow comes to all... Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I am not concerned that you have fallen -- I am concerned that you arise."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
-- Chinese Proverb

"I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better."
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

"Out on the border of a changing skyline
We put hope in front of fear
And all the heroes have gone east of eden
We all need new frontiers"
Journey -- Frontiers

Hang in there. Snap out of it. Change things for the better. Be strong. Keep moving. No worries.

xoxoxo
Becky

Stand on your good leg

Things aren't exactly peachy keen jelly bean in my life right now, especially after re-injuring my already damaged leg last week. But instead of focusing on everything that isn't going well, I will concentrate on everything that rules. I refuse to give in to any sort of sadness or despair; rather I will opt to direct my energy into completing projects that will enhance my future. A wise woman once said, "If you have time to be depressed, you're not busy enough," and I believe she was right. Now is not the time to wallow in self pity, or wish things were different; now is the time to act and fix the things that are broken. I will put all my weight on my good leg as I move forward through this crazy life of mine.

Maybe I will never be
All the things that I want to be
Now is not the time to cry
Now’s the time to find out why

-- Oasis, Live Forever

Sending love to your bad leg strength to your good one,
Becky

xoxoxoxo

You Rule!

One of my favorite messages ever!

A community service reminder... from the Universe:

YOU RULE.

Your gifts are innumerable.
Your insights are profound.
Your choices are endless.
Your touch is healing.
Your thoughts become things.
Your power is indescribable.
And you are loved and adored, on moment to moment basis, more than you can now understand.

YOU RULE.

xoxoxoxo
Becky

Expect the unexpected

The most random things happen when you least expect them. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, unexpectedness is lurking around every corner. I can't even remember how many times I have looked through my 20/20 hindsight goggles and thought, "Wow, if only I had known that was about to happen, maybe I would have done something differently."

So go ahead and just let go -- you have no clue what is about to happen to you.

xoxoxoxo
Becky

Happiness in solitude

A little over a week ago, I was staying with my father in the not-so-exciting town of Springville, NY, located about 30 minutes from Buffalo. The town was quaint in its own way comprised of one Main Street, about four restaurants and a Wal-Mart. There are a little over 4,000 uninteresting people living there that have all known each other since birth, and whose conversations consist of their kids and the school system, tractors and their performance, construction and how it affects traffic, the road that is the best route to take to Buffalo (without aforementioned traffic and construction) and the new quarterback/running back/tight end (or whatever) for the Buffalo Bills. Not quite my cup of tea. Needless to say, I was antsy to explore a more stimulating environment on my week-long vacation.

Luckily, Springville is about two hours away from Toronto, a city (and country) I have never visited but has topped my list of "Cities I need to get my ass to see right away." And coincidentally, there happened to be a few DJs from Paris that were playing there who had also been on the top of my list of "DJs I need to experience right away, especially if they are from Europe." But since my dad could not accompany me to Toronto, I was faced with the option of going solo to Tha Deuce City or possibly dying of boredom in a small town. I opted for the former.

Toronto was everything I hoped it would be and more. The Parisian DJs did not disappoint and I had an incredible time on my own doing whatever my heart desired -- considering it was agreeable with my wallet, of course. It made me feel free and liberated to discover a new city by myself and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Upon my return to Springville (and even Orlando), I was surprised by the number of people who couldn't believe I had gone alone. I kept hearing things like "I could never do that" and "Wow, weren't you lonely?" and "What did you do all by yourself?"

Sure, there were times when I was reminded of my friends and there were certain things that I wish they could have experienced with me, but for the most part I was completely content being alone. I found it motivating and enlivening and wonderful.

Lately I have been pondering being alone and the importance of being comfortable with being alone. The way I feel is best illustrated by the quotes below:

"Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone." -- Paul Tillich

"Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines." -- Paul Brunton

"Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement." -- Alice Koller

We were born alone and we will die alone. So be your own favorite person and find happiness in your solitude. It feels pretty damn awesome.

xoxoxoxo
Becky

Fighting the Green-Eyed Monster

I don't think a lot of people would look to the Beastie Boys for insight, but today I found it in their song Pass the Mic:

"I give thanks for inspiration
It guides my mind along the way
A lot of people get jealous, they're talking about me
But that's just 'cause they haven't got a thing to say
Everybody's rappin' like it's a commercial
Acting like life is a big commercial
So this is what I've got to say to you all
Be true to yourself and you will never fall"

This past weekend, a friend and I were discussing jealousy. When someone achieves something great, it seems there is always another person who is jealous of the accomplishment. This envy can breed contempt and low self-esteem, which can lead one to gossip in an effort to feel like a bigger person.

But we're all human and it's virtually impossible to avoid the feeling of jealousy. So the next time you feel jealous, ask yourself why. Figure out what you need to change about your own circumstances to get yourself where you want to be. Focus on yourself and your own goals, rather than the person who ignited the envious feelings. Because if you have time to talk shit about what someone else is doing, you're probably not busy enough working toward your own objectives.

Be true to yourself and you will never fall. Thanks, M.I.K.E. to the D.

-Becky

Life is Dope

Today is Friday and I am in the best.mood.ever. There are so many wonderful things looming on the horizon for me and I am eager to experience them all. Days like today are perfect to look back upon in times of darkness and gloom, to help us remember why life is totally dope.

And since one of the awesome things on the horizon is the Erykah Badu show on Sunday, I will add some of my favorite lyrics from her song Appletree.

"See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
My ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't walk around trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying to get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I cant please you
and thats why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
Doo wee doo wee doo wee"

And another awesome thing to look forward to -- hope to see all you beautiful ladies at the Jammy Jam on Saturday!!!

<3
Becky

Hope Is a Four Letter Word

Wikipedia defines HOPE:

"Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance - i.e., believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

Hope as an emotion produces a motivation to act. For example, if one has hope a bus driver will wait for him, that person may be motivated to run towards it; but if the bus begins to pull away and the person loses hope they can catch that bus, they lose motivation and stop running. Similarly, if standing at a bus stop hopeful a bus is soon forthcoming, one may be motivated to remain at the stop. If that one loses hope that a bus will come shortly, that person might lose motivation to stay waiting and might try to hail a taxi or just walk."

I strongly believe that what drives each one of us is an underlying hope for a better tomorrow. We have come so far because we all have it deep within ourselves, and we will continue to strive for something better with the hope that we will get it.

Like a long lonely stream, I keep running towards a dream, moving on, moving on,
Like a branch on a tree, I keep reaching to be free, moving on, moving on.
Cause there's a place in the sun where there's hope for everyone,
where my poor, restless heart's gotta run.

--- Stevie Wonder, A Place in the Sun

Sending you love and hope for a brighter day,
- Becky
<3<3<3

Revitalize Your Soul

Life is a one way street ain't it?
If you could paint it,
I'd draw myself going in the right direction.
So I go all the way, Like I really really know,
but the truth is, I'm only guessing.
--- Gnarls Barkley - Just a Thought

No one knows what the hell they are doing in life. Even the most motivated, driven and successful people don't know what the fuck they're doing. Everything is a guesstimate. It's all a game. Don't get down on yourself if maybe you're not doing what you're "supposed" to be doing. Who the hell knows what that is anyway?? Ask yourself what is really important to you. Follow your instincts. Do what you think and feel is right for you. No one can tell you what that is. You'll have to figure it out on your own.

I have heard people say, "If only I had been more focused and didn't party as much when I was younger, I would be in a better position today." While that may be true, would you have had as much fun in your life? It's important to find a balance between completely slacking and working yourself to death.

For those of us who are approaching, or are already in our 30's, the pressure is on. Time to conform to society's views of marriage, 1.5 kids, house ownership and a successful career. When did the American Dream becomes more of a burden than a fantasy -- more of a requirement than a desire?

All in your own time. Don't feel like you have to have the salary, the house, the car, the kids by age ____. Don't put limits on yourself. It will come eventually. Keep working towards the goals that YOU want to achieve and you will ultimately find what you are looking for.

Try not to take life and all its massive confusions and stressful situations too seriously. Because in the end -- what does it all mean? Make sure you are really taking the time to enjoy your life exactly as it is right now... because it will never be the same again!

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." -- John Lennon

Enjoy your life!
-Becky

Niceness RULES!!!

Isn't it so awesome when someone does something nice for you out of the blue? A woman I work with just brought me a thank you card and a scented candle for notarizing some of her documents. It wasn't even a big deal to me - all you have to do is sign your name and stamp a piece of paper - but I guess it meant a lot to her. She just made my day a little brighter by going out of her way to thank me. It was such a thoughtful thing to do that I wasn't expecting at all. And believe me, I needed it so much!

Go out of your way to do something nice for someone today when he or she isn't prepared for it. Maybe you'll cheer up their day, right when they need it most!

xoxoxo!
Becky

Life is impermanent

A reality that has been reoccurring in my life lately is the impermanence of life. Earlier today I heard that a random acquaintance (friend-of-a-friend) had recently died. The saddest part of the news was not how young he was when he died - late 20's or so - but his newborn daughter that arrived into the world about a month ago. Now his widow is left to raise the baby herself, without her loving husband by her side.

Life is impermanent. There are no guarantees of how long any of us will be here on this earth. Something tragic can happen to any of our loved ones at any time - no matter how old or young they are. This is not an easy thought to accept, especially since we seem to believe we are invincible. Things like this only happen to other people, not to us.

I have been trying my hardest lately to really appreciate each day as it passes and to truly be thankful for all the wonderful people in my life. Since there's no way to know how long they will be around (or how long I will be around), I must love them with everything I have in me all the time. I must constantly let them know how much they mean to me and how much I love them. I must be very aware of every moment I spend with them. That way, when the time comes and we are forced to say goodbye, I will not feel guilty. Through my sorrow, I will look back fondly and know that I appreciated my loved ones for everything they are worth.

Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
- George Harrison, All Things Must Pass